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Why Can a Man Marry Four Wives in Islam?
Historically it has been a compassionate solution, not a problem.
— Updated November 13, 2024 —
TL;DR — Why Men Can Marry 4 Wives
- The 4-wife rule in Islam was introduced after the Battle of Uhud to support widows and orphans.
- It allows up to four wives but requires equal treatment in finances, time, and emotional support.
- In Western societies, only the first wife is legally recognized; additional marriages have no legal standing.
- Men considering multiple wives must be financially, emotionally, and logistically prepared for the responsibility otherwise they cannot marry more than one.
I strongly suggest you take 10–15 minutes to read this entire post without any distractions. Open your mind, remove any prejudice, hatred, or misconceptions, and genuinely just aim to learn. I go deep into many questions surrounding this topic with Quranic backing, authentic Hadith, and even modern sciences.
I promise that by the end of this post, you will gain a lot of clarity on this infamous “men can marry four wives in Islam” line that you hear everywhere on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, and TikTok...
Your confusion and ignorance end today. Let’s go.
Polygamy in Islam came up in a conversation a few days ago and it’s been nagging at me since. At face value, it seems unjust, selfish, and misogynistic.
My name is Tameem Rahman, and I am an entrepreneur in Toronto, Canada.
And while this has nothing to do with my line of work, I thought I would explore this further as a curious bloke and see if I could find a logical explanation.
I did, and it has a lot to do with history.
You’ll quickly learn that the idea that polygamy exists in Islam so men can indulge in selfish, lustful desires is a far cry from what’s actually true.
Ready? Let’s investigate.
The “infamous” 4-wife rule was first introduced during Wartime for Muslim men (things were worse before it)
The permission for a man to marry up to four wives was revealed in the Holy Quran during a specific socio-historical context. During the early years of Islam, particularly after the Battle of Uhud, many Muslim men had died, leaving behind widows and orphans in a patriarchal society where men were often the primary breadwinners and protectors.
It was then that this verse was revealed in the Holy Quran in Surah An-Nisa (Chapter 4), verse 3:
“And if you fear that you will not deal justly with the orphan girls, then marry those that please you of [other] women, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one or those your right hands possess. That is more suitable that you may not incline [to injustice].”
(Holy Quran 4:3)
Back in the day, women and children of the defeated side during a war were… damaged goods. A liability often not seen or treated as human.
And since in most cultures and societies, women were entirely dependent on men for survival, the male being killed meant many women and children faced the risk of poverty, exploitation, and lack of social support.
I don’t need to tell you the horrific consequences that befall women and children in Non-muslim societies if the male figure is killed in war, even today. Around a similar time in Scandinavia, for example, Vikings would rape, enslave, and kill them for sport, although their activities were concentrated mostly in Northern Europe and the British Isles.
Whether you like it or not, and regardless of Islam’s involvement, women were/are seen as property to be destroyed, replaced, or enslaved once the land has been conquered.
The abuse and killing of innocent women and children is strictly forbidden in Islam (haram). Therefore, no Islam-conquered region, especially under the direct leadership of the Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ), could allow this.
So, to address this situation, the Quran permitted polygyny as a way to support these women and orphans (in return for companionship), provided men could treat their wives equally and with justice (more on that later).
In Islam, polygamy is allowed, but NOT mandatory, as a remedial measure.
If you read the Quran verse I shared above, it explicitly references fairness and justice as essential conditions that were meant to prevent exploitation and mistreatment.
Things were worse before Islam. Islam did NOT propagate polygamy. Islam regulated it.
By restricting men to a maximum of four wives and placing strong conditions on their treatment, the Quran aimed to create a more balanced and fair approach to the polygynous practices already common in pre-Islamic Arabia.
Ah.
So each Muslim man can marry up to 4 widows—providing critical protection to her and the kids, shelter, and food in return for companionship during or after times of war.
This way, women and children have a better life with a roof on their heads and food on their plates — even after the passing of the husband/father.
I was shocked. Islam mandated a mutually favorable solution and encouraged mercy instead of abandoning/killing families.
Not so bad, right? This knowledge should at least disarm ignorant people from immediately hating on the 4-wife rule—I will admit, I was one of those people before I became more educated on the topic.
Side note: do you see how ignorance can easily breed hate in any domain? Education is super important.
Next, we will talk about what “equal and fair treatment” means and how this is relevant in today’s society.
If a man marries four wives, equal and fair treatment is NON-NEGOTIABLE, mandated by the Holy Quran (which is the word of God).
Amid this ruling, there still needs to be a sense of justice. And if men cannot deal with four wives justly, they cannot marry more than one wife.
…if you fear you will not deal justly, then marry only one or what your right hands possess. That is the nearest way for you to avoid injustice. [The Holy Quran, Surah An-Nisa 4:3]
Basically, this verse states that if a man wants to marry more than one wife, he must ensure that he will treat all his wives and any orphans fairly. He should not love nor favor one more than the other.
If you buy one wife a $50,000 car, you better be ready to buy all of them one or something of equivalent value in your wives’ eyes if they’re not interested in driving. Don’t be illogical about it. Islam is a religion of logic. There are no loopholes. You can’t outsmart God.
If this isn't possible, you should stick to one wife.
What does “fair and equal treatment” look like?
Both the Quran and the Hadith provide further guidance on what constitutes fair and equal treatment in the context of polygynous marriages. This guidance emphasizes the need for justice, kindness, and the provision of equal material and emotional support to each wife.
Here are some of the relevant references:
1. The Quran’s Emphasis on Justice in Polygamy
Surah An-Nisa (Chapter 4), verse 129 states:
“And you will never be able to be equal [in feeling] between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]. So do not incline completely [toward one] and leave another hanging. And if you amend [your affairs] and fear Allah — then indeed, Allah is ever Forgiving and Merciful.”
(Quran 4:129)
This verse acknowledges the difficulty of achieving perfect equality regarding emotional feelings but emphasizes that men must avoid favoritism and neglect. It serves as a reminder that, while human emotions are not fully controllable, men are still required to maintain fairness in their actions and obligations, such as financial support and time.
2. Equal Financial Provision and Division of Time
The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) offered further clarification on fairness through his actions and sayings (Hadith).
He emphasized that equal treatment should include
- Material provisions
- Time allocation
For example, the Prophet was known to spend equal time with each of his wives, establishing a precedent for equitable distribution of time. In Sahih Bukhari, it is recorded that he would rotate his time and visit each of his wives on a specific schedule.
Hadith Example:
Aisha reported:
“The Messenger of Allah would divide his time equally among us, but he would say: ‘O Allah, this is my division concerning what I control, so do not blame me for what You control and I do not control [meaning his heart and feelings].’” (Sunan Abu Dawood 2134)
This Hadith reinforces that while emotional inclinations cannot be fully controlled, men are expected to be just in areas they can control, such as time and resources.
3. Prohibition Against Favoritism in Inheritance and Gifts
Another area of fairness pertains to financial gifts and inheritance. A husband should not show favoritism by giving one wife or her children advantages over others. Fairness in inheritance is strongly emphasized in Islamic law, and there are Hadiths that caution against giving preference to one wife over another in personal gifts.
Hadith Example:
In Sunan Abi Dawood, the Prophet Muhammad said:
“Whoever has two wives and favors one of them over the other will come on the Day of Resurrection with one side of his body leaning.” (Sunan Abi Dawood, Book of Marriage, Hadith 2133)
This serves as a serious warning against favoritism, indicating that such behavior is unjust and will have consequences in the afterlife.
4. Maintaining Emotional Balance
The Prophet also showed great sensitivity toward the feelings of his wives, aiming to create an emotionally respectful environment. His actions included consulting his wives and considering their opinions, showing them affection and respect. This balance in emotional care serves as an example of fair treatment.
OK, so here’s the summary for a Muslim man interested in four wives:
- Financial fairness: Equal financial support for each wife in terms of living expenses, gifts, and provisions.
- Time allocation: Fair division of time, with each wife receiving equal attention regarding companionship and presence.
- Emotional sensitivity: Efforts to maintain kindness, respect, and sensitivity to each wife’s emotional needs.
- No favoritism in gifts or inheritance: Ensuring gifts and privileges are evenly distributed among all wives and their children, with no preferential treatment.
Marrying four wives doesn't seem so exciting when you consider the time management and expenses aspect, does it?
Don’t forget your 9–5 and the kids.
Why Can’t Women Have More Than One Husband in Islam?
Yeah, sorry ladies, this rule doesn’t go both ways.
You might think this “unfair.” If you're a Muslim woman, you need to follow this commandment anyway because your Lord decreed it.
But, if you are weak in faith or a non-Muslim, don’t worry; it’s not wrong to be curious about something. Often, you will find many logical arguments come up in God’s decrees. He has decreed it for our own benefit, after all.
On that note, I am going to share some biological, legal, and social arguments that have traditionally been used to explain the difference:
- Pregnancy and Childbearing: Since women can carry only one pregnancy at a time, Islamic law views one husband per wife as more practical for paternity clarity and stability. With a woman who has multiple husbands, disputes could arise over whose child to bear first, and expectations of back-to-back pregnancies may lead to health issues, rivalry, and added time and emotional strain on the mother, disrupting family harmony. Not to mention she virtually has no room for a personal life. But no back-to-back pregnancies would make the other 3 men wait an unusual amount of time to have offspring when they could have it now. It doesn’t work for either side.
- Reproductive Patterns: Men’s ability to father children with multiple wives was seen as a way to increase family size, valuable in societies with high mortality rates. A woman with multiple husbands would not increase offspring numbers similarly.
- Legal and Moral Framework: Traditional Islamic interpretations define marriage with specific roles where the husband provides financial support, protection, and guidance. In a polyandrous marriage, these responsibilities become complicated: determining each husband’s financial duties could cause imbalance and tension; protective roles may lead to rivalry or confusion; and child lineage, critical for inheritance, would be unclear. These complexities challenge the structured harmony central to Islamic marriage.
- Clear Lineage (Nasab): Islamic law places high importance on the concept of lineage and clear paternal lineage. In societies without modern DNA testing (which was the case historically), polyandry created ambiguity about the child’s paternity, which Islamic inheritance laws depend on. Knowing the father’s identity was essential for inheritance rights, family ties, and social identity, and polygyny was seen as a way to avoid confusion over lineage.
- Natural inclinations and traits of the male species: Let’s address the elephant in the room. Despite our “ideals,” in a polyandrous setup, men’s natural tendencies toward ego, territoriality, protectiveness, and competitiveness would likely complicate household dynamics. Generally speaking, men are more inclined toward rivalry for time, attention, and resources and are often more susceptible to aggression. This could lead to heightened tension, jealousy, and conflicts over roles and decision-making. By contrast, in polygyny, each wife has her own space, reducing the likelihood of direct competition and helping to preserve household harmony.
Islam, however, does give the women the full right to file a divorce if she is not happy with the marriage. Although unfortunately, in some cultures, this has turned into asking the husband for consent before the woman can leave. Which, as you can imagine, becomes problematic.
The stigmas around Islam being misogynistic, I’ve noticed, are due to the wrongful mixture of culture and religion.
Does the Man have to let the First-wife know about another marriage?
In Islam, a man is not strictly required to obtain his first wife’s permission to marry additional wives.
But, Islamic teachings emphasize fairness, justice, and harmony within the family. This cannot be overlooked either.
While permission is not obligatory, seeking the first wife’s consent is encouraged in many cultures and communities as a way to maintain respect, transparency, and household peace.
Some Islamic countries have introduced laws that require either the wife’s consent or approval from a judge for a man to marry again. For example, in places like Morocco and Malaysia, certain regulations demand that a husband justify the need for a second marriage or obtain his first wife’s consent to uphold family welfare and stability.
In summary, while Islamic law does not mandate first-wife permission, it encourages justice and fairness, and many contemporary Muslim societies and scholars advocate for consultation and consideration of the first wife’s feelings in such matters.
Is having four wives still justifiable today?
So I live in Canada.
Many of us live in countries like the U.S., U.K., Canada, Australia, and European countries, where four wives is not only uncommon but discouraged and illegal. We’re also provided with lots of support through charities, organizations, and kind people.
The historical reasons for the upbringing of polygamies, like war, misogyny, and patriarchy, I think, are no longer relevant in non-warzones and Western society.
In fact, under section 293 of the Criminal Code of Canada (where I’m from), all forms of polygamy, and some informal multiple sexual relationships, are illegal.
But, that doesn’t mean it’s irrelevant everywhere on earth.
There are still nations on this planet, especially in the Middle East and South Asia, that have violent wars, poverty, and dependent women and orphans.
If this Islamic rule acts as a type of governing and support system amid the chaos in some countries, who are we to question it?
I mean, we’re acting like promiscuity, adultery, and degenerate behavior aren’t rampant amongst our younger demographics in today’s society, especially.
If we take a cold, hard look at the state of our world, what is honestly worse?
- Person A has a wife and kids at home but always comes home at 3 am drunk every night and has probably hooked up with half of Manhattan at bars, clubs, and through dating apps
- Or Person B, who has 4 wives and MUST be fair in time and resource allocation to the best of his ability or be judged and healthy accordingly in the eyes of God and Shariah Law?
One thing’s for sure: Humans have a polyamorous nature. Now, if you’re a Believer, then you believe that it has been put inside us as a test of our faith and devotion to God.
Islam acknowledged this and aimed to regulate it at a time when this was rampant.
That’s not to say modern justice systems don’t acknowledge it at all.
Adultery is a crime in 16 U.S. states and Puerto Rico, with the strictest penalties in Michigan, Oklahoma, and Wisconsin, where it’s considered a felony. Michigan imposes up to five years of imprisonment, Oklahoma applies the same penalty and fines both partners (even if one is single), and Wisconsin fines up to $10,000.
And as of 2024, it’s considered a misdemeanor in Alabama, Arizona, Florida, Georgia, Illinois, Kansas, Maryland, New York, North Carolina, North Dakota, Rhode Island, South Carolina, and Virginia.
Though how much these states actually enforce this law, is another discussion. It would also be naive to think that people follow these rulings. That goes for Islamic law, too.
Polygamy, unfortunately, has been corrupted by misogynistic and lustful who like to bend rules to their self-interests, which explains why many of us have a negative view of Islam’s ruling.
What’s required of a Man who wants four wives in today’s economy
You’ll hear men of all ages and cultures (but of the same religion) say, “Oh, I get to have four wives, ha!”
Well, my brothers, you also get to
- Pay 4 sets of bills (each one unique, depending on each wife’s needs and lifestyle)
- Lead and manage 4 different households or household units, each with its own dynamics, expectations, and challenges
- Raise at least 4 kids, assuming each wife wants children — and be an equally present, responsible father in each of their lives
- Provide emotional support: Each wife deserves attention, care, and respect. You have to be present for each one’s needs, personalities, and concerns — without letting anyone feel left out.
- Stick to time commitments: Fair time division isn’t optional. You’re expected to balance everyone’s schedules and give each wife her share of your time, which is no small feat if they’re living separately or have different routines.
- Deal with potential conflicts: Different personalities mean different needs, and when these collide, it’s on you to keep the peace and handle conflicts without bias.
- Meet varying household expectations: Each wife may have her own idea of how things should run, from lifestyle to parenting to daily management. So get ready to switch gears and respect each setup.
- Plan for inheritance and future provisions: It’s your job to make sure each wife and her children are taken care of, even in the future. That means balancing financial planning, inheritance, and ensuring no one is shortchanged.
To have four wives, a Man must therefore be:
- A multi-six-figure earner ($400k/year+ minimum) or, ideally, a multi-millionaire — each household requires its own financial support, and anything less just won’t cut it.
- Highly disciplined and organized — balancing time, attention, and resources fairly across four households isn’t for the lazy or unfocused.
- Emotionally intelligent and patient — handling the different needs, personalities, and potential conflicts that come with multiple wives requires real maturity and empathy.
- Committed to fairness — not just financially, but in every aspect, from time to emotional availability; each wife deserves equal care and respect.
- Spiritually aware and accountable — understanding that this responsibility isn’t about personal gain but about living up to a high ethical and spiritual standard that demands constant self-reflection and accountability.
If you think you can get away with not being the above, you might. But you will not escape the wrath of God, in this life and definitely not in the next.
We would all do well to remember that.
How does the 4-wife rule apply in a non-Islamic justice system (like in the West)?
In non-war zones and Western societies, the Islamic rule permitting up to four wives is influenced by a mix of religious guidelines, legal frameworks, and cultural norms, often leading to different interpretations and applications:
- Religious law permits up to four wives, but most Western countries only recognize monogamous marriages, leading to legal risks like fines or loss of residency.
- Some Muslim men conduct additional religious marriages without legal recognition, but these wives lack inheritance or spousal rights.
- Informal polygamous communities in the West offer support but lack legal backing, often relying on religious recognition alone.
- Western social security systems and feminist values reduce the traditional socio-economic rationale for polygamy as a welfare measure.
- Western Muslims often prefer monogamy, viewing fairness in multiple marriages as difficult and culturally less relevant.
- Some Muslims see polygamy as optional, adapting it situationally based on community, culture, and personal interpretation.
- Inheritance for children from non-legally recognized marriages may require special arrangements like trusts to ensure equitable treatment.
- In divorces, only the legally recognized wife has court protections for custody or financial support, complicating separation for others.
In a nutshell… the “four-wife rule” largely becomes a matter of personal religious practice rather than legal recognition in non-war zones and Western societies.
The preference for monogamy in Western Muslim communities reflects both adherence to local laws and an adaptation of religious practices to modern, stable, and economically supportive environments.
Well, now you know.
If you came to this post as an angry or confused female, Muslim or non-Muslim, I hope this post provided some clarity (and peace) on the what and why.
If you came to this post as an excited Muslim male, you’re not alone, and you’re not wrong (by the books) for wanting four wives. But I hope you’re more aware of the required responsibility and qualities you must have to be able to enjoy four wives.
Otherwise, it’s not worth it… not in this world, and definitely not when you must answer to your creator for unjust treatment.
My personal opinion? I think if you live in the West, you’re going to go through a lot of unnecessary hassle trying to marry four wives that I think are NOT worth the effort.
If you really want to do it… move to the UAE, Qatar, or Saudi Arabia.
And if you’re thinking of moving back once you complete the marriage, know that the U.S. and Canada will still only recognize your FIRST legally married spouse as the legitimate one and deal with Visas, spousal benefits, inheritance, and other social benefits like healthcare accordingly.
Another thing… I feel like a lot of you treat it like either or.
Why are we taking such a huge leap from 1 to 4?
Can we discuss two first, my man? Then 3 if two is working for you?
Then possibly 4?
Some of you have yet to experience one long-term—and I’m not talking about your haram high-school or college girlfriend. I am talking about your LIFE partner with whom you will raise kids, grow a career, handle taxes, come home every single night… and the list goes on.
All I am saying is, start with one. Experiment with 2. Dabble with 3 if you must. Four is for a man who has proven himself in every regard. Oh, and space them out in decades. That’s probably how I’d do it—not saying I actually would but that seems smart.
